You Milky Bastard

Aspirin vs. Marijuana

The dangers of marijuana include possible respiratory problems caused by the deposition of burnt plant material on the lungs. This danger can be eliminated with alternate forms of consumption such as eating or vaporizing the medicine. 
For two to four hours, marijuana causes short-term memory loss, a slight reduction in reaction time, and a reduction in cognitive ability. (It makes you stupid for a little while.)These conditions DO NOT persist after the herb wears off.

Hunger 
Paranoia 
Depression 
Laughter 
Introspection 
Creative Impulse 
Euphoria 
Tiredness 
Forgetfulness 
Aspirin side effects and dangers:

When taken with alcohol, aspirin can cause stomach bleeding. 
Reye Syndrome in children: fat begins to develop around the liver and other organs of the child, eventually putting severe pressure on the brain. Death is common within a few days. 
People with hemophilia can die. 
People with hyperthyroidism suffer elevated T4 levels. 
Stomach problems include dyspepsia, heartburn, upset stomach, stomach ulcers with gross bleeding, and internal bleeding leading to anemia. 
Dizziness, ringing in the ears, hearing loss, vertigo, vision disturbances, and headaches. 
Heavy sweating 
Irreversible liver damage 
Inflamation and gradual destruction of the kidneys 
Nausea and vomiting 
Abdominal pain 
Lethargy 
Hyperthermia 
Dyspepsia: a gnawing or burning stomach pain accompanied by bloating, heartburn, nausea, vomiting and burping. 
Tachypnea: Abnormally fast breathing 
Respiratory Alkalosis: a condition where the amount of carbon dioxide found in the blood drops to a level below normal range brought on by abnormally fast breathing. 
Cerebral Edema: Water accumulates on the brain. Symptoms include headaches, decreased level of consciousness, loss of eyesight, hallucinations, psychotic behavior, memory loss and coma. If left untreated, it can lead to death. 
Hallucinations, confusion, and seizure. 
Prolonged bleeding after operations or post-trauma for up to 10 days after last aspirin. 
Aspirin can interact with some other drugs, such as diabetes medication. Aspirin changes the way the body handles these drugs and can lead to a drug overdose and death. 

If you think that cannabis is actually safer than aspirin, you are not alone. In October 2000, Dr. Leslie Iversen of the Oxford University Department of Pharmacology said the same thing.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says “You’re all idiots”, and pours two beers.